162.2

Hey everyone. Sorry I have been missing in action, yet again. Just been super busy and had no weight success to report so I find myself straying away from the blog at times like that. However I woke up this morning and weighed in at 162.2. I then fell off the scale, woke up, and re-weighed. Same weight. Sweet. The lowest I've been since I started doing well a few weeks ago. OMG can u IMAGINE how FUCKING FANTASIC it's going to be when I weigh in at 150-something at the end of the week???? My goal is 158 by Saturday. I was shocked as fuck I weighed in what i did today because Sunday and Monday I had fmaily parties. Even though I didn't binge I still knew I would be stuck at my 164.4 I've been dealing with or even worse I would have gained. Nope. Dear Purging - thanks a bunch!!

So despite my last post I slept with Erik. The sex was great, the fact that the lights were on was not. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. I mean okay FINE, YES, things do look much better laying down so i got over that but THEN i stand up to get dressed and DUN DUN DUN!!! I swear to god ladies, this is not some "ED, I'm Fat, everyone thinks I'm Fat" bullshit. He literally bent over to pick his shirt up and when he stood up just starred at me. STARRED at my!!! FUCKING STARRED AT ME!! Oh and where where his eyes?? My fat buldging stomach. I managed to contain myself for the moment despite the fact I wanted to light myself on fire and run screaming from his house. Long story short, I ended up balling my eyes out thw whole way home and almost got into a car accident bc I was texting my bestie ED buddy Clementine. Double BS. I've never cried after sex in my whole life. Awesome isn't it? But obviously Erik has no idea about this so he thinks everything is fine. Shit, I'm surprised he is even still talking to me after seeing my body. And so it continues.....

YOU>WILL>NEVER>GUESS>WHAT>THE>FUCK>HAPPENED>TO>ME>TODAY:

So my ex Nate, which some of you should know about, owes me 1,200.00 dollars. Even after our breakup we remained civil despite how bad the break up was and he said he would pay me back the money over time. Okay fine. Well a week and half ago he was supposed to meet up with me and give me some money for the bill I have to pay (I put a WAY overdue electric bill of his on my CC) and he was a no sho no call. Today was the first day I have spoken to him since then. I have been calling and texting him multiple times per day since he blew me off. So he finally repsonds to me today and tell me his phone got shut of cuz he couldn't pay his bill, which I don;t believe for a second bc if you phone gets shut off it doesnt ring and ring and ring when someone calls it. You either get a vm right away of a message from Sprint will tell you the line is disconnected. WHATEVER. So we were fighting pretty bad and I lied and told him I had a PI and I knew where he lived and all about his new whore gf and blah blah blah blah blah and he fucked with the wrong person and I would eat his flesh for breakfast if he didn't pay me. Ok, ok, not really I didn't say "I'll eat you flesh..." but you get what I'm saying. So after some BS fighting he finally chills out and we get back on track and he sayd he will send me a check today in the mail. Well he has a tendency to ALWAYS talk about our relationship everytime I call him about money, which makes my fucking crazy bc I am still getting over him and don't want to think about it because i just fucking cry and it's pathetic. Well, long story short, the conversation turns to him telling me he still loves me and he wishes he hadn't bailed on our relationship and he wants to try it again one day when we are both single again and blah blah blah. Basically he told me every possible thing that I've wanted to hear since things ended with us and just when I thought I hated him with every ounce of my being and I was DONE WITH HIM, I'm right back to fucking square one, missing him. FUCK FUCK FUCK. ugh. Like he was even complementing me and shit, telling me I'm a better lover than his current gf. Great.

Sorry to cut this in the middle of the story but I have to run. I'll finish tmarrow.