Yuck

I ate a croissant with strawberry jam and butter for breakfast. I was so happy as I was eating it because it took me back in time to when I was sitting in a black rod iron chair at a Parisian cafe when I was 18. God I miss France.

An hour later..........I am wanting to shoot myself. A fucking croissant Jamie? What the hell were you thinking? I am getting pretty helpless as far as this weight loss thig goes. I am never going to be skinny again. I will never be under 150. No matter how much I starve....I get no where. I am a failure to all of you ladies and to myself. I think it's time to OD.

Originally (while I was stuffing my face an hour ago) I was so happy I was going to post a list today called "Life's Happy Positives." Obviously.....I don't feel like doing that anymore. INSTEAD:

LIFE FUCKING BLOWS BECAUSE:

1. You starve, you diet, you exercise, you this you that and YOU GET NOTHING.
2. Fat people are disregarded as stupid and weak individuals.
3. If you don't look cute you're not cute
4. Guys don't want fat chicks.
5. Fat people can't get waitressing jobs.
6. Loosing yourself in a ED book and community doesn't give you shit.
7. Cellulite......enough said
8. There is no such things as cal-free candy
9. You get get pharmies unless it from a PHARMIE!!!
10. Alcohol is not on the food pyramid. DUH, IT HAS A NUTRITION BASIS
11. Illegal substances are expensive amd sometimes hard to come by
12. I no longer have my hangy keyboard desk thingie.
13. I have no where to wear my amazing shoes.
14. 'Friends' are not really friends in the BIG PICTURE.
15. Pictures.
16. Step Scales. Always Adjusting, Always lying.
17. Mia's and public bathrooms are an eventual disaster.
18. Laxies and public bathrooms are an eventual disaster.
19. Pale skin increases your weight.
20. Bigger boobs on a flat girl means a bigger ass.

I'm too fucking pissed off to keep going.....plus my list would probably take me until I die becasie life blows so much.

Starve Well and GET THIN, since my fat ass never will.

Jamie