Check This My Peeps!

I cant even believe it. In the past three days I have eaten anything but an egg sandwich. 1 egg between two pieces of wheat bread. Why did I eat the sandwich you ask? I pretty much almost blacked the fuck out in the hallway of my apartment and my sister MADE ME eat the damn thing. :( I couldn't even throw it up because I felt like she was watching the bathroom. Those Bronkaid pills are magic girls, sheer magic. I highly suggest everyone goes to their closest drug store and purchase a box today. I take two on an empty stomach and I'm good all day. I also worked out this morning. I was slightly hungover (okay so Ive gotten shit bagged the past two nights but whatever I still have weighed less every morning) and started jogging and um...oopss....run to the bathroom, JAMIE RUN!! Totally started puking so I ended up just doing a bunch of weights, more reps than usual and a bunch of ab work. Not bad for being hungover, I guess. Maybe not for you, but def for me.

Oh, and weight this morning: 171. I feel I could have been 170 if it wasn't for that fucking sandwich. Goal is 169.something tomorrow.

Me and Nate talked on the phone last night for 5 hours. Awesome convo lots of laughing and lots of serious talk too but all very well. I feel it mended my psychotic episodes I experienced Saturday and Monday. Phew. HOWEVER, I just got off the phone with him and in a stupid plot to get to see him I suggested we go out for dinner and try and hang as "friends." WTF JAMIE?? Dinner, seriously? Fuck. Then I suggested maybe we could pick something up and eat at my place and hang for a bit. He goes "yeah, well, I mean Jamie I do want to see you and I do want to hang but this doesn't mean everything is okay and we are back." DUH NATE I FUCKING KNOW WE AREN'T BACK, IF WE WERE I WOULD CALL YOU MY BOYFRIEND AND HIG YOU AND KISS YOU AND LOVE YOU LIKE I HAD BEEN DOING THE PAST SIX FUCKING MONTHS!!!! (I didn't actually say that to him) And of course...the tears begin to run down my face. I said "I know Nate, was trying to do this 'friend' thing and give it a whirl. I know we aren't together....just never mind it's not a big deal I'll give you a call later." Of course he tells me to not get sad, he didn't mean it to sound mean, he wants to hang blah blah fucking blah. I told him I would call him back in ten minutes after I ran downstairs for work real quick. Well, that was officially 19 minutes ago. I don't want to call. I want to walk home and cry like I did Monday and take my GD bottle of wine and a razor and hide under my blankets. I don't know what to do. Fortunately my cell is dead and I called him on my.........

**Interruption** right when I was about to finish that sentence above which would have read "....work line and he would be too afraid to call me back on it....." he fucking calls me back on my work line. What are the odds ladies? AND, we ARE hanging out and we ARE going to eat. Oh and it just so happens that he suggested to go to my favorite local Mexican Tanqueria where I usually stuff my face on their homemade chips, salsa and cheese enchiladas. SHIT SHIT SHIT. I told Nate I'm not allowed to eat there and he was like "oh relax you haven't eaten in three days it's not like your even going to be able to eat that much cuz your stomach shrank." Cha........ fucking CHA. You underestimate me my friend because underneath this long brown hair, fair skin and fat ass exterior, I'm a raging bulimic trying out the world of Ana and I've eaten more in a two hours binge then you could consume in a whole week and you have no fucking clue. So take that. (I Stick Out My Tongue At You.)

Crap. I used to have a menu to that place. Whenever I go out to eat I usually look up the menu online and make a plan before I go in. A nice safe plan. I hope to god I can find one online but I highly doubt it bc it's not a chain restaurant. I wonder if they could do a Taco salad with no meat. And of course I would not eat the shell. I could use a tad bit of salsa for the dressing. No sour cream. No guac. Oh please 'No Way Jose' have a damn Taco salad.

Well my beauties I will be sure to post tomorrow and let you know how the evening ended. Hopefully empty stomached and not in tears. Wish me luck and as always....

THINK THIN!!!