Although I love being able to vent on this blog and get input from other lovely people, I don't like it when my posts are nothing but negative rants and raves. Well today, it shall be just that.
First and foremost and MOST importantly - without having to go into exact detail of the story because I would be typing until tomorrow, let me just state that ONCE AGAIN I hate my fucking fat bitch stupid lazy cunt asshole sister. I hope someone stabs you in your face and you bleed to death with such an intense pain that your screams makes surrounding ears bleed. GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT.
I also stayed at Nate's last night (YAY!!!) because my sister tried to smack me around yet again and so I didn't get to weight this morning (Boo!!). It's driving my fucking crazy. I feel 200 pounds. I need the number to flash every morning into my sleepy eyes to keep me calm for the remainder of the day.
Yesterday: I only ate three Doritos all day. Yes, I had a two second moment of weakness as I walked through the liquor store crying. Thank god Nate ate the rest of the mini bag.
Today: Complete FAILURE. Ate a 6 inch veggie sandwich and now I wish i could slit my wrists.
Weekend: As of 3:30 pm I started a fast. 3 days and 3 hours. Nothing but liquid: Tea, water, pop and booze. No coffee. Oh and of course, laxies.
I'm going absolutely nuts over this fucking stupid sandwich. The whole time I ate it I knew it was wrong and I needed to stop but I just couldn't fucking put it down. Reminds me of the times when I would fill the syringe with dope, desperately searching for a vain, knowing I should but not being able to stop. It's like the fucking sandwich was two steps away from giving me this utter high, the way heroin made me feel. After the plunger was pushed and the syringe was empty i would feel so good and so guilty at the same time, not knowing which feeling I should follow. I felt that same way starring at the empty sandwich wax paper. Fuck me I'm such a pathetic excuse for a living human being.
I hope everyone did better than me today. Have a great weekend lovelies.
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