Did that seriously just say that?

I totally messed up last night. Ate my turkey patty and cabbage for dinner. When Nate went to bed I binged/purged on a granola bar, a turkey burger and a turkey sandwich. I couldn't sleep all night. I kept thinking about how much I was going to hate myself after I saw the scale this morning. I woke up with Nate at 5am and waited in bed until 5:30 when he left for work. I took the scale out and went into the kitchen to weigh. (The kitchen is the largest hard wood floored area so I can move the scale into diffrent spots and re-weigh so I know the numbers are real.) I get on the scale and it reads:

168.2. WHAT THE FUCK.

I realize I'm wearing an underwire bra, a pair of nate's b0xer breifs, jogging pants, and a tee shirt. I usually weigh naked. I immediatley strip off all my clothes in the middle of the kitchen without thinking twice about the fact that Nate's roommate and gf could possibly walk in for something at any minute. Whatever I didn't care. I re-weigh.

165.6. MUAHAHAHAHAH!! Success. I re-weighed about eight times until I felt secure about the number being real and then skipped to the shower.

So far I've only had my coffee, but then again it's only 10:35am. 70 cals.

My meal plan today is a salad for lunch, no snacks. Well maybe some warm V8 cuz this GD office is freezing. My salad is 2 cups romaine, two egg whites and 2tbsp of lite ranch = 130cals. With the V8 its 165.

We have the kids this weekend and we are taking them to see Karate Kid tonight. I plan on making Nate and the kids Cheesy Mac and Broccoli for dinner. I'm not sure what I can manage for dinner. I'll probably just keep some of the steamed broccoli on the side for me before I mix it all together. 1 cup is 20 cals. Total for the day will be 225.

Lets hope I can keep my fucking fat pig hands out of the fridge. I need to seriously get my Seroquel back to end this vicious cycle. Maybe I'll pick up some over the counter crap tomorrow.

To change topic, I am sooo excited for tomorrow. After two and a half years of having a suspended license I am back behind the wheel by noon!! I finally get my car back and no one can stop me now. I can't wait!!!!! I've been daydreaming of how things were back then when I was driving.......

Jamie at 130 pounds. Tan. Beautiful sculpted nails. Working two jobs. Paying bills. Kickin ass and taking names. And looking fucking hot in my brand new car. :)

These DUI's have seriously made my life utter fat and ugliness. I couldn't get around so I obviously lost a job, most my friends, my tanning and nail packages and so much more. Oh, and I gained 35 pounds. Awesome. I am hoping my life will all fall back into place over the next few months. I can't wait to see my friends and work two jobs and get shit back on track. Life will hopefully have some rays of sunshine again!!

Starve well ladies and always feel free to post comments!!!