Water Cooler Wallows

Today is okay. I feel ok.

Woke up 152....still. I bagel and cream cheese binged after I blogged yesterday. For some strange reason last week when i went grocery shopping I had this grave idea that it was okay to buy my trigger food, as long as I brought it to work (since I wouldn't binge at work ever - yeah right) and as long as I bought the mini bagels which are 110 cals a piece versus a regular bagel which is 240. WRONG. Those little devils called out to me from the fridge all day. Long story short, by 3 o'clock I had 4 mini bagels and the leftover half brick of cream cheese hidden with me at my desk, spreading and stuffing into my mouth as fast as I could before any one saw me......pathetic. I purged, but I'm sure you all know bread is not the easiest thing to vomit so I believe I only got about half out. I felt so terrible about myself. Luckily I went to community service and didn't get home until 9:15. I came home and stuck to my plan: immediate popping of tranquilizers in my mouth. I weighed myself naked before I went to bed.....155.....tear.....and after about an hour I passed out. It's sick to think that in that hour (that felt like eternity) I sat on the bar stool at the island counter in my kitchen, starring at the fridge and pantry. "Just one piece of cheese....." Mia said to me. "One piece of cheese will go straight to your fat ass Jamie!" Ana screamed back. I texted Clementine and Anastasia. Phew.....they both got me through it. I woke up this morning feeling empty and as previously stated, weighing 152. I was surprised to see that somehow I managed to shed three pounds over night, but then again I did drink alot of hot tea yesterday so maybe most of it was water weight. Thank the ED heavens.

We have not water in our water cooler at the office today. My boss took the day off cuz his son was ill and he was supposed to replenish our supply. DAMN. I am accustomed to the hot water button for making my mint tea fast. I hate having to wait at the microwave starring at my coffee cup go round and round for 2 minutes........god how technology has made us all lazy. So now I sit hear with half a cup of luke warm tea, slightly aggravated. My throat hurts today too, I think I'm getting sick, so it makes me want hot tea all the more. Oh the tribulations of life.....lol.

To add to my tea issues......it's pouring rain! I was supposed to start my 'walk-home-from-work' plan today. ARG! I love the rain, I love you mother nature, but seriously......your gunna make me go to the gym where all the beautiful people will secretly be starring at me calling me fat? Boo.........I highly doubt it. I hope it stops raining by 5 p.m.

Intake today:

1 Cup Coffee: 20 cals
1 Cup Shredded Iceberg w/ 1 Tbsp Lite Ranch: 47 Cals

So far so good. Clementine and I have decided that we are going to try eating the same things everyday. I pick one meal, she picks the other and then we can use remaining calories, if we have them, to choose what we like. We can't exceed 200. My dinner plan in 2 cups steamed carrots, no additives except spices: 60 cals. Filling and low cal! I think I can do it! :) Totalling 107. Maybe I'll have a piece of fruit today too! My yummy peach is in the fridge and I think it's only 37........hmm......

Well Starve Well Ladies! Love You All!