So I probably have a book's worth of stories and things that have happened to me since Friday......I have not been at work until today because I came down with a sinus and resp. infection and lost my voice since Sunday. I am feeling absolutely terrible right now and unfortunately do not feel like sharing all the details of my terrible weekend. In short I will say:
Friday to mid Saturday - chemical binge......good
Saturday night - DRUNK.......punched two friends in the face at the bar, threw another one in the bushes........
Sunday Morning - woke up in Saturday night's dress.....many things odd around the house......went straight to the bar by noon with friends I had punched in the face....all seemed good.
Sunday afternoon - drunk, drunk, drunk...........
Sunday evening - drunk drunk......got into huge fight with same friends....ended up being left at the bar with no ride. Strange boy offered me a ride....ended up getting attacked by him and punched in the face.....fought back and luckily escaped before rape commenced.......hid in my bathroom with my dogs until sunrise........
Monday - No work, too sick.....avoided numerous calls from friends who left me at the bar....fuck them.
Tuesday - No work again.......Slept and drank SoCo and tranquilizer cocktails.........
Today - Surprisingly got dressed nice for work.......have had an okay day.....150 cals so far......caved w/ 80 cals from ranch dressing.....oh well. Weight = 152
I have always felt alone...even when in a room a friends. I always thought it was just my mind playing tricks....I 'wasn't alone.' Pshhh........when your two best male friends find out you are almost raped in your own GOD DAMN Driveway because they left you at the bar alone and they don't care....you realize you are trully alone. It wasn't my mind playing tricks...it was my mind telling me the truth....trying to make me realize the truth......thank you mind. Fuck you 'friends.'
Off to read my Ana books.
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