Well it finally happened. I called the national suicide hotline last night. (Thanks 411 disbatcher for giving me the number.....yeah I know....I called 411 for the number.......lol) You know what those fucking people told me?
Hotline: "Give me your name, number and information and someone will call you back within the hour."
Me: "Umm......are you serious..???"
Hotline: "Yes, a counselor will call you back within the hour."
Me: "I don't have an hour..." CLICK
Since when do they 'get back to you' on a SUICIDE HOTLINE???? Thanks United States of FUCKING America. You suck at life too.
I got wasted. I started crying originally because my sister again put me down all the while acting like she wasn't. JUST LEAVE I told her. She left.
Me and Southern Comfort...my best enemy. Thanks for letting me feel SoCo. I love you. Your the only thing that can penatrate through these god damn pills I take. I can't eait to get home and take my Seroquel. Bed time is set at 5:30 pm today.
SO my best girl friend laid out my cards yesterday when I called her hysterical and wasted. APPARENTLY she knew all my secrets and I was unaware. Including my eating disorder. Awesome. My life fucking sucks right now. The only thing that is great is how I have no desire to eat when I am this depressed. When Iw as younger and I was depressed I would binge binge binge. Now I starve starve starve. It's great. On the upside of my pathetic life, all I ate yesterday was a banana and a fifth of whiskey. I woke up this morning at 152. Lost a pound. Once again, thank you SoCo for your help with dehydration. You fucking rock.
To my readers, I apologize for calling you all fatties a couple days ago. That's not how I feel really and I think some people might have taken it the wrong way. More of a crude joke comment thing....if that makes sense. I love you guys sooo much and don't even know what I would do without this community. If I lost you guys, then I have completely and utterly nothing. You are my world.
Starve Well today my peeps. Pray for rain.
Jamie
I cannot believe the hotline seriously said they would call you back, I mean at least put you on hold for an hour randomly coming back to the line saying your call and your life is important to us, or some other kind of nonsense would be better than saying 'we'll get back to you about that' Damn. that is just plain awful...
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you chose SoCo to deal instead of taking your life, lesser of two evils, right??
I hope things start to look up and hopefully that friend will be there to help you through it, but if not you have to understand it'll be hard for her to know what to do to help.
xoxo
Thanks for your kind words ladies.
ReplyDelete