Day 5

I made it through the 4 day fast. And I lost no weight. I'm continuously screaming WTF WTF in my head all day long. So, as I said, I am doing a seven day....but I'll probably end up extending the 7 day as well. (Sigh........)

It has become so easy not to eat I can't even believe it. I was slightly worried because I am going to spend the weekend at my BF's apartment and we tend to drink and mog out when we we're together. Her name is Christine. We have been the best of friends since we were in Kindergarden. I actually introduced her to my best guy friend John a couple years ago and now they have been together for two years and live together. It's actually awesome having my two best buds as a couple. We have a BLAST when we are together. She actually interns at a office on the floor above mine and she was in today. She is coming back at 5 to pick me up. I can't wait! I haven't hung out with my posse since the South Side Irish parade last March. Feels like ages ago.

When we were sharing a smoke outside I told her I'm on a fast and she was like "I wish I had your will power.." lol. Me and her started these "diets" together.....except obviously she doesn't know the extent with me...having an ED and all. She just thinks I am a crazy crash dieter. Call it what you may Christine.....lol. She has not lost any weight whereas I have lost 10 pounds this past month. I KNOW she can do it. We have both always been heavy our lives and yo-yoed up and down in jeans sizes together for many years. Since she has been with John she has gone from 150 to 190/200. John is one of those guys that is a stick figure and can drink beer and eat five times a day everyday and not gain a pound. Me and Christine are Italian......Italian have the metabolisms of 8 obese men........she can't eat like him and she knows it....but John loves her and hates that she can't eat with him. One day last summer I went to their house when we were all supposed to go out somewhere together and when I walked in the front door John was like:

"Jamie...Christine is hysterical crying in our room with the door locked. She tore all her clothes out of her closet and won't let me come in........I hate that she is so upset about her weight and I can't do anything to make her feel better. I know I need to encourage her to eat better and I try but you know how it is when it comes from your boyfriend....only a girl's female friends can tell her to step away from the cookies and pick up a carrot. Please, GOD, get in there somehow and handle this...she's been in there for over two hours."

I was on it. Of course, she opened the door for me in like 2 seconds. She called me a skinny bitch through her tears and told me to lock the door behind me. We both started cracking up. After a good 30 minute talk and aiding her in picking out an outfit she felt good about we walked out from her bedroom and she was full smiles, cracking a beer for the both of us. John pulled me aside later and was like "How the hell did you get her happy and out of the room....???" It's a girl thing I replied. We both laughed and he gave me a good ol' noogie.

I love those guys.

Well Christine is still almost 200 pounds. Everytime I talk to her she is either about to order or has just ordered fast food for her and John. I know if we didn't live an hour away she would be doing much better because we both would be hanging out constantly and therefore she would be feeding off my willpower. I want to bitch at her everytime she is eating shitty but I know being far away and bitching won't solve anything. She'll feel bad for the day and then be back on the junk food wagon the next day, probably by breakfast. I am hoping this weekend might gear her towards a better diet since we will be together for 3 whole days. It's going to be in the 80's this weekend (FINALLY NICE WEATHER!!!!) So am am going to get her ass excercising one way or another. She has my god child (her pitbull Venus...lol) at her apartment so I am going suggest walking the dog everyday for an hour cuz I know that bitch won't jog with me. (I say bitch in the friend way of course). Wish me luck!

Okay.....so I said earlier I am kinda nervous about his weekend. Besides the eating thing, which I am pretty sure I can over come, I will not be able to weigh myself. She has no scale. I was trying to think positive....."maybe if you go really good over the weekend when you get home and weigh yourself you will have lost a couple pounds and it will be a great suprise/reward." But then i think negatively....."if you don't have your scale with you as a constant reminder to fast and not put on a pound you will loose control, binge for the next 3 days and balloon up to a unspeakable weight." CRAP. Christine will just laugh at me if I bring my scale. She's not going to like freak out like my sister would. But then again Eleanor (my scale) has really been pissing me off this past week and I think she is lying to me. Hmm....maybe I can buy my new scale with Christine this weekend. My sister will spaze out when she notices I took Eleanor from the bathroom and brought it with me. But I WILL SPAZE if I don't weigh myself all weekend. Shit....I have no idea what to do.

OKAY. I'm leaving my scale at home. I'm going to try to buy a new one with Christine this weekend. I will minimully drink. I will not eat. I will pray for good news from the scale gods on Sunday night when I get home. This shall be challenging.

ANOTHER huge deal for the weekend is I am not going to be able to blog. :( Christine has a computer and everything but it's too risky to do this at her house. She'll want to see my blog and lody doty and my secret will be blown like porn star. There are so many expectations and things to look forwrad to for Sunday night.

Wish me luck over the weekend gals. This is my last blog until then!

Jamie