GOD FUCKING DAMIT. I love the blogs I follow and I am realizing more and more how weak I am. I'm fucking 150. I can't take this weight. I can't take looking at myself in the mirror anymore. I want to be 118 so bad. Why can't I just stop eating?? My new buddies are so much inspiration for me. 3 day fast starting now. 11:52 p.m. I need to stop drinking when I'm sad, which is all the time. I have NO ONE except my online ED friends. I'm alone in this world otherwise. If someone out there is from IL please contact me. I have searched online and can't find anyone. I KNOW there is someone of there. I live in a 16 story apartment. Someone in this building has to be an ana or mia.....I wish I could find them. I have been keeping an eye out for bracelets and haven't seen one. I think I'm going to crack.
I will see bones
I will be thin
I will not eat
I will die to be thin if I have to.
I will......just..... cry..........
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I think one of the girls on my blog is from IL. Toxic- actually im pretty sure she is. She's going to school out there somewhere. I don't know exactly where but maybe you could get in touch with her somehow. she's really sweet and i've known her through a forum for a few years now. You can get down from 150. That's almost exactly where i'm at too.. we should be accountable to each other. I need to get down to 145 at the most by mid may for my doc appt. and thats not even like an optional thing.
ReplyDeleteMorped invite me to your blog! I would love to see it!
ReplyDeleteoh i don't have my own personal one.. its just ana/mia chronicles :) I can invite you to be an author on that one tho if you want.
ReplyDeleteThat would be great! I would love to talk to this girl from IL too! Lemme know. You can email me thinkthin46@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteAwesome! I just sent you the invite. Feel free to post on there asking her.. i'll see if I can catch her on facebook or something too.
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