Weekend Blogging Disaster

Geez it feels like an eternity since I've blogged. I had a disaster over the weekend every time I tried to. My sister bought a new laptop on Friday and I was blogging from there and EVERY time I tried to post our Internet signal dropped. On Saturday there was a blog that I worked on for OVER and hour...it woulda been great. Had tons of ME stuff in it. I was so pissed off. I could have gone down to the computer lab in my building but at that point I was blogged out and too angry. It's good to be back though. Today I am:

149.5

HURRAY! Finally got back down from my Easter binge. That 5 pounds was complete torture. I thought I was screwed yesterday too because it was my g-ma's b-day party yesterday at my mom's and she made a bunch of special vegetarian dishes. I started with a tbsp. and a half amount of the stuff she made for me. I felt confident. " I can do this." I told myself. 15 minutes into dinner it was a nightmare. My g-ma had dementia and it's really sad but I was handling it okay because my g-pa is so able minded....or so I thought so. The first 3 hours at the table there were only two topics repeated over and over and over by both my grandparents. Gpa is loosing it too I realized. It was SO SAD. My mom and I just kept looking at each other with heavy hearts in our eyes. I started nervous eating. There were jelly beans and m&m's and hard candy displayed on on table. I put each bowl in front of me. At one point I kicked my feet up under my g-ma's chair and leaned back with a bowl of Starburst jelly beans cradled in my arms. Soon after when my stomach ache began to develop I got up and got more dinner food from the kitchen. I think I ate 10 deviled eggs alone. I could list eveything I ate that night but it might disgust my few viewers. I chugged tons of diet pop and milk along the way as usual, probably purged 10 to 15 times while I was there. By the time my sister and I left around 8 pm I was not feeling too hot. My stomach, teeth and kidney ached. I kept thinking about my scale the whole 40 minute ride home...HOW COULD I FACE THAT THING? I might jump off my balcony after it was about to find out I probably put on the 5 pounds I worked so hard to loose. Thankfully my sister dropped me off at our place and went to a friends place downtown so I had the rest of the evening to myself. After exiting my elevator on my floor I ran to my door and stripped all my clothes off as I ran to my scale. I stepped on.........150. I hadn't gained a fricking pound!! I purged successfully and let out a big sigh of relief. I poured a glass of wine and took my meds. I was asleep within the hour.

SO I woke up this morning feeling better and weighed myself..... 149.5. I drank some coffee and had a banana so far today....it's 4:17p.m........soon I will be off to the library for community service work. That will sail me into 9 pm without any food. Mondays and Tuesdays are easiest for me to fast because I am busy from 9am to 9 or 10pm. Just as long as there is no eating when I get home. I am going to try to get to the gym tonight. I asked my sis if we could go tonight when she got home but I haven't gotten a response yet......I think my texting is fucked up. I'll keep you posted.

On an amazing note!! I made like 4 or 5 new buddies! They all rock. I wish we could like form a ED community and all live in a gated neighborhood. My new friend Clementine and I were talking and I was telling her how we should start a live chat room because they're are like none out there. So she made one on Chatzy.com and it has been a big hit! Fellow Ana's and Mia's Unite! Not HATERS ALLOWED! Pass the link on to as many of your ED friends!

http://www.chatzy.com/444513623732

Jamie