I sit here thinking what is the point of this fucking blog. Thinspiration? Obviously not. I sit here day after day writing about my new PLAN of action, my fat ass, my binging & purging, my stupid pathetic life, all why? To loose weight? Yeah, sure Jamie, go fucking lie to yourself some more. Since you have had this blog you ass has gone up and down in weight but still has never broke 150. Pathetic. Useless. I waste of human flesh....or should I say human fat and lard. No one gives a shit about me anyhow. I don't even get comments from my supposed 'fellow Ana/Mia's' on this stupid piece of shit site. SO much for the COMMUNITY. So much for support. FUCK IT ALL. Fuck you Blog. Fuck you Jamie. Fuck you World. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I wish I could just lock myself into a room for a week with a bath tub full of cocaine and get so freaking twacked that I drop 15 pounds and end up killing myself with a plastic spoon or something because I AM SURE that there is soemone outside my window watching me. I wish I could just be driven into insanity so I don't have to FEEL THIS PAIN ANYMORE. It's so exhausting wanting to die 24/7 but not having enough balls to just push a little harder on that blade against my wrists. WEAK. FAT. PIG.
Would someone just hit me with a fucking truck already?????????
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wish I had words of inspiration for you, but we all have our days and now is mine, so I'll just lay down next to you waiting for that truck...
ReplyDeletehope things start to look up, or better yet I hope we both climb our fat asses out of these holes and find the light in our lives ourselves...
I've been feeling shitty too....I have been binging a lot lately and I hate myself and the fact that I'm stuck in this disgusting body.....but remember that even if we fuck up today, there is always tomorrow to do better. You can ALWAYS lose the weight, even if it seems like a horribly slow process, and even if you GAIN some along the way. No fat is permanent!! So please don't hurt yourself or give up...because you are a lot closer to your goals than you think!! I know you are strong and you can do it!
ReplyDeleteI think I'll join in the "waiting for the truck to run over us" group....
ReplyDeletemy life is falling apart right now... and everything is total shit: my personal life is a wreck, my eating is out of control... my life is out of control
All that to say YOU'RE NOT ALONE.... I'm here for you so anytime you want to vent or anything- just write
(i'll write you soon... it's just i've been too depressed lately to do anything but lie in bed and cry)
I love you guys..thanks for the support. Sorry about my crap mood lately.
ReplyDeleteOh, honey. Have room in the "waiting for the truck to run over us" group for one more? I feel like this almost all the time. Don't worry. Your not alone, and even if you don't get comments, there is ALWAYS someone reading, me. :]
ReplyDeleteStay Strong, we're here for you.
Millie