OMG.....153!

Gay rhyme......lol.

I am having blog withdrawals.......I can't believe I haven't written since Wednesday. To update - my cell situation is fine...I ended up finding my other SIM card in my night stand drawer and the phone book and everything was on there THANK GOD. And I ended up finding this receipt to ALDO that I needed to return some banging yellow pumps so it turned out to be a pretty fantastic night. Then I went to the gym and worked out for an hour so it was a sweet evening.

SOOOO......I weighed in at 153 today!! WOOHOO!! I have actually been at 153 since Thursday morning but I have kinda been eating small meals and haven't worked out since Wednesday so I am super happy that I have maintained my weight. I had quite a scare this morning! The story....

So I had a couple drinks last night (ok, ok........4 GLASSES of Malibu Rum on the rocks...did I surprise anyone.....?....probably not) and ended up making cheesy spinach, cream of mushroom soup and a cheese sandwich at 12:30. I had taken my meds an hour earlier and combined with the rum I was kinda foggy and not thinking. I woke up this morning on my couch and saw my paper plate with crumbs sitting on the coffee table and started freaking. FUCK FUCK FUCK JAMIE!! Did I purge? DID I PURGE???? I couldn't remember. I don't have a religion and don't pray ever, but I went to the bathroom and sat on the edge of my tub and prayed to ANA for a second. I was terrified to step on the scale......153!!!! Holy shit are you kidding me? I didn't believe it. I stepped of, then on again...153, then off and on again....153...I took my scale into my kitchen and weighed myself there...153....off again, on again, 153........I went onto my balcony.....153!!! It was true. I thought for sure if I changed rooms my weight would be different, for some reason even unknown to myself. I racked my brain trying to figure out when I puked....I must have.....still no recollection to this second. Oh wells.....at least I didn't go up.

So I got the sad news that the love of my life didn't get granted work release from prison. He hasn't done anything wrong in the 4 years he's been there but apparently because he is listed as a double class X, he doesn't get the chance. I was pretty sure he was going to get denied but wanted to stay positive because you never know. I just miss him sooo much. I can't believe in 10 months he will be outta prison. I can't wait until I can just run up to him and hug him and kiss him and do everything together. I hope we end up getting married like we had planned years ago. We are just the best of friends right now because of the circumstances but I know that we both love each other very much and he praises me alot because besides his family, I am the only person he still talks to. His friends that he knew since he was a young boy eventually stopped writing and visiting. Everyone forgot him. He was so hurt for so long. I am just really glad I could be there for him in these hard times. He means the world to me. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone in my whole life, especially myself.

Well Ladies I hope all is well! Stay Strong and Think Thin! Ana is our true friend and with her we can conquer any weight!

Loves You!